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I haven’t been a Medium member for like two years as life has really got in the way. A huge depression hit over me and I couldn’t (or want to) write anything. It was as if that voice inside of me had turned off.

The interesting thing about the whole deal is that I have so much to say but don’t know if I should say it or if any gives a shit about my views or dribble I write. I know I don’t fall into any category to be labeled and that is a problem. Too many people always want to label people. Why can’t we just go about our lives without any labels. Just be ourselves.

During my deep depression (I most likely still have it), I hit some really dark places. Places that I didn’t know that were there. The thing about it was while my demons were in my head and I was still able to function. I went to work everyday, did my job and somewhat functioned in what was called normally. I appeared to many to be my normal, inverted, weird self but I it was all a front. Inside, the demons that I had were really fucking with me. It was a duo existence that was (and still is) really weird. Trying to keep those demons at bay is a hard deal.

Also, some really interesting family stuff came up in the last 14 months. It was a total mind fuck that I am still dealing with or better yet, trying to figure it out. One thing about me is that I am world’s greatest human storage facility. I have units all over the place as I lock things away and keep them in storage. Not saying that it is right but it is the way I deal with things and function.

So, I paid for this Medium membership to come back and who knows if I will be writing a lot or nothing at all. Hopefully, I find a happy medium and write will the need arises.

Who knows, this might become a little bit of therapy for me. Also, there might be times that might just complain, moan and dump in my writing. I don’t really know at this point.

Anyway, I am paid for my membership for the next year and who knows what road I will go down.