It Has Been A Long Time

It has been a long time since I have graced this site. I thought I was able to get something done prose wise during the summer break but I wasn’t feeling it.

Not that anybody missed me.

A lot of things were happening but one thing I really had to deal with was my head space. I have had to come to grips that I live with people who are super negative. Their whole world is negatively.

It is almost like they are trying to tear you down but will not even attempt to build you back up.

Someone is always better than you or someone does things better than you. There are always standards and rules, yadda, yadda that you have to live by.

Jesus, even going out to eat with these people is difficult. You can take them to a fancy fucking place and they will complain about that Pepsi had no taste or the drink didn’t have enough alcohol or the something the food had no taste.

It really was dragging me down into a rabbit hole that I really couldn’t out of. I was getting more and more depressed about myself.

The big thing was that they always knocked what I do for a living. They can my job and everyone else’s job at school. They know all the rules, standards and everything.

Basically, according to them-I don’t know what the fuck I am doing and no one I work with has a clue what they are doing.

They have all the answers but don’t even know what the questions are.

I made a huge decision in May and that was to start therapy. Something that I really needed. It basically saved my life.

I have kind of figured out that I am a pretty decent at what I do and am a pretty decent human being no matter what anybody says.

Something that I have been living by is this quote: “When God made us he put a little bit of ‘not done yet’ in all of us.” — John Madden

There is a lot of “not done yet” in me.